


Wedding Dress

by Rollinginthesheep



Series: We Will Never Be [4]
Category: Little Mix (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, I just like writing angsty onesided!lourrie, Songfic, Weddings, lourrie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-17
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2018-02-13 12:01:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2149986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rollinginthesheep/pseuds/Rollinginthesheep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'In your wedding dress<br/>To have and to hold<br/>'Cause even at my best<br/>I wanna let go’ </p><p>In which Louis has to write a best man’s speech and comes to a realization.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wedding Dress

  
_Do not make inappropriate jokes or call anyone rude names. Do not swear, there are children present Louis! And do not, for the love of god, mention the time you walked in on Zayn and I._

 

 

I stopped reading after that. The writing was scrawled in Perrie’s usual looped font, a jumble of words that filled the page full of commands I was meant to consider when writing what would probably be the shittest best man speech ever penned. It wasn’t because I couldn’t deliver a speech, no, but because the idea of standing up at the reception and saying that I thought Zayn and Perrie were the perfect couple made the contents rise in my stomach. So instead I tossed the paper aside and leant backward on the couch staring at the stark white plaster ceiling of my living room. 

 

 

Six days left. Six days until I would be forced to put on a penguin suit and remember to keep the rings on me at all times, the very ones that would rip Perrie away from me forever. But really, she was never truly  _‘with me’_ to begin with. At least not in the way I wished it to be every night in the uncontrollable and utterly delirious world of my dreams. It was the very reason I hadn’t slept properly for the last month, not wishing to go through the pain of waking up to a reality that would never compare to my own imagination.  _Life sucked like that._

 

 

My phone buzzed, the trilling sound bringing me out of my self-pitying internal monologue. I reached for it, shimmying it out of the confines of my back pocket. I set aside my bottle of beer and groaned as I read the contact ID. 

 

 

_Perrie._

 

 

I opened the message, purposely ignoring the sinking feeling of dread as I read her words. I’d been avoiding her for this very reason. 

 

 

_Have you written the speech yet? Zayn said you were procrastinating. Let me know okay? X_

 

 

I sighed heavily, typing out a vague and quick response before I fully processed my own words, fingers flying across the touch screen. I couldn’t be bothered attempting to placate her, _that was her fiancé’s job,_ I thought bitterly. However no matter how bitter and frustrated I felt I couldn’t help but retrieve the pen and paper and begin to write. 

 

 

_If it was a best man’s speech she wanted, I’d give the most fucking memorable best man speech ever given._

 

 

—

 

 

The ballroom was over packed with family, friends and notable people. I could crane my head in any given direction and spot at least three people I’d seen before on a red carpet. I wasn’t sure if this was due to the happy couple or because of management. Either way I didn’t really give a fuck.  _The more, the merrier,_  I contemplated, hiding a twisted smile behind a sip of the ridiculously over-priced champagne. 

 

 

The ceremony had gone off without a hitch. I gave the ring over at the right time, managed not to throw up all over the tails of Zayn’s suit and adorned a half-painful grin as I tried to look anywhere but what felt like the slow car-crash being enacted right in front of me. The only thing that stopped me going all ‘Speak Now’ –I’d laughed when I’d spotted Taylor in the pews at this moment- was the papers in my pocket, the speech I was set to give. 

 

 

I knew hell would break loose when I spoke.  _But that was what weddings were for right?_ Everyone was just bursting for something to fuck up, and I all too happy to oblige. So I sat patiently through the reception, ate my designated meal and even danced with one of Zayn’s sisters –whose name I couldn’t remember for the life of me-, all the while imagining it was another woman in my arms. 

 

 

The day lagged on, so much so I almost cheered aloud when the familiar clinking of silverware against the champagne flutes sounded. Perrie laughed cheerily, leaning onto Zayn as she’d been doing for most of the day. It was the first time I properly allowed myself to look at the bride and I felt the breath catch in my throat as I did so.  _She looked radiant._

 

 

I’d known Perrie for almost four years now, but I’d never quite seen her look as bright as she did in that moment, adorned in a modest but stylish white gown. Her blue eyes were framed with quite natural earthy shades and her bow shaped lips were tinted with a peach color.  _She looked stunning_. I was far too absorbed in my inspection of Perrie that I didn’t notice Zayn rise from beside her until he spoke. 

 

 

“Now I know this isn’t how the process works, but Perrie and I thought we might switch things around a bit, as you know we enjoy doing that.” He announced, nursing a microphone in his grip. The audience tittered politely and I refrained from rolling my eyes at the utter cliché of it all. “So Perrie and I thought we’d give our speeches before our respective maid of honour and best man did.” Zayn spared me a glance at this and I just managed to rearrange my expression to something politely interested and pleasant before the groom noticed anything amiss. Zayn smiled at me before turning away once more, his gaze sliding back onto his new wife. 

 

 

“Perrie, when I met you I remember acting like an utter douche-.”The audience laughed at this and Perrie couldn’t even bring herself to admonish his inappropriate language. “-and I remember you telling Niall that’s exactly what you thought of me. What you didn’t know was the reason I acted so up-myself was to hide the fact my hands were sweating like mad the second I saw you smile.” Perrie’s gaze melted as she regarded Zayn. The audience cooed appropriately and I felt my teeth sink downward onto the inside of my bottom lip. Seeing the way Perrie’s eyes glittered as she stared upward at Zayn made my heart feel heavy for two reasons, one being the obvious, the other being the sinking realization that crept up upon me as Zayn continued to speak. 

 

 

“But even that first day, I realized there was no way I’d ever truly be able to hide myself from you. You see things in me I’m not proud of and you love me despite them,  _and honestly,_  I don’t know how you do it half the time.” I glanced downward, unable to watch the utter adoration in the couple’s exchanged gaze. Instead I fumbled for the papers in my pocket, pulling them out, thankful for the shield between the main wedding party table and the rest of the audience, which was the table cloth. 

 

 

The faded parchment was heavy, crinkled, feeling like dead weight in the midst of the interaction taking place between the newlyweds. “-and I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. Because I love you, _so much_  Perrie.” Zayn concluded and I glanced up startled as the audience applauded –and Niall let out a melodramatic sob-. I hadn’t even heard half of his speech; I’d been that deep in thought as I reread my words. 

 

 

The applause settled after a few moments and Perrie rose in Zayn’s place, straightening the material of her dress that had bunched under the table. It wasn’t a necessary action, as she still looked as though the dress was a second skin, it was that tailored for her form. I felt the brick in gut sink lower, pulling me downward. Perrie’s blue eyes appeared ethereal, the color of an ocean in the tropics. It was utterly inviting and I couldn’t bring myself to turn away as she began to speak, even when the words that spilt from her heart shaped lips stabbed me in the chest like a thousand tiny little knives. 

 

 

“I thought long and hard about what I was going to say, so hard I honestly found myself at a lost.” Perrie began with an amused shake of her head. I spy Jade from the corner of my eye, nodding furiously as she’d probably bared witness to Perrie’s freak outs many times in the previous few months. 

 

 

“I wanted to say something perfect, poetic and unforgettable. Something that could truly summarise everything Zayn was to me.  _But I couldn’t_. It wouldn’t matter how long I wrote, how many clichés I pulled together. I would never be able to describe the infinite amount of reasons I love the man sitting beside me.” The audience cooed once more and I felt a combination of nausea and expensive champagne bubble within me. 

 

 

“It isn’t about the fairy tale. It isn’t about happy endings or movie perfect moments. It’s about the person who’s there for you when it’s all far from perfection.” Her gaze flickered downward to meet Zayn’s and I found myself glancing at my best mate properly for the first time since the day began. His hair was as styled to perfection as usual, the very look that caused multitudes of our fans to suffer heart palpitations. But it wasn’t his styled hair, groomed suit or well set features that drew someone to glance upon him at this moment. It was the look on his face, the deep mixture of adoration he had toward the woman standing beside him that was so clearly evident in his eyes. 

 

 

“And that’s what Zayn has been for me. He’s been my anchor, the lighthouse to guide me home again when I’m scared and lost and so angry I can’t see straight. He’s the person who reaches out and pulls me up when I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I guess it is a cliché. I know neither of us is perfect, but he’s the closest to perfection I’ve ever witnessed and honestly I couldn’t ask for anyone to love me better than he does.” A tear dropped from Perrie’s ridiculously long lashes and she wiped it daintily in an attempt not to mess up her makeup. 

 

 

“I want to grow old with you Zayn Malik. I want to love you when we’re grey and old. I want to scream at you in vain as I give birth to your child. I want to love you when it’s annoying to love you and I want to love you when it’s the most amazing thing in the world. I want to be that couple that seems so utterly ridiculously in love when they are far from young and beautiful.” 

 

 

It was then the realization I’d been nagging at since Zayn stood up full sunk in. 

 

 

I loved Perrie Edwards _, I truly did._

 

 

But Perrie Edwards  _truly loved_  Zayn Malik and Zayn Malik  _truly loved_  Perrie Edwards. 

 

 

No amount of honest words and confrontations would ever change that. Pining out loud would do nothing but cause pain to those I claimed to love. Love isn’t meant to be selfish. It’s meant to be that one true magic that united people. If I truly loved Perrie… _I’d have to let her go._  Even if it hurt so badly I could barely see straight. 

 

 

_“-I love you Zayn Malik.”_  Perrie finished speaking, no longer bothering to hide the tears falling from her bright eyes. The audience applauded loudly as Zayn shot up and embraced her, his head ducking into the nook of her shoulder. He moved quickly, but not fast enough for me to miss the tears in his own dark eyes. 

 

 

It was in that moment I let the note cards I’d prepared slip from my hands, with little regret in my mind as I gave a muffled and hasty speech a few moments later. 

 

 

He loves her. She loves him. I love her. 

 

 

_She’ll never know._

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a random drabble inspired by this puckleberry oneshot: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7004100/1/Best-Man-Speech  
> ….. I planned on ending it differently and yeah, if people want I can make an alternate version where he actually goes through with it but hey, otherwise I hope you enjoyed this random jumble of words!


End file.
